Saturday, January 25, 2014

Things my parents told me. By Geniusofdespair


My mother told me she "was going to hit me from here to Canarsie." I had no idea where Canarsie was, nor did I ask. I just knew I didn't want to go there. Later on when I found out it was in Brooklyn and I lived in Queens, it made no sense. When explaining the facts of life my mom began with "There are birds and bees..." and ended with "Even the pope's mother did it". She often warned me about the starving children in Europe when I wasn't eating my food. I actually didn't care a lick about them at 7 years old.

I didn't understand why she was getting very, very fat. And then what happens? There was a new kid on the block - my brother - and she was skinny again. No one told me I was getting a sibling. He was just there. My father told me there was a bridge over the Atlantic Ocean. My teacher was not impressed. My father also told me I was Chinese. I am not but I believed I was and told everyone. My father once sent me into the kosher butcher and told me to buy a pound of ham. I was only a little kid and the butchers started to yell at me when I asked for it and threw me out of the store. My father was laughing hysterically when I got back in the car.

I believed in the stork, the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. I believed Flash Gordon was really in space and that the ice cream man would always come. I believe in a lot of good, the glass was always half full -- even with zany parents -- that is why I write this blog I have faith things can change, after all, I am not Chinese anymore.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

great stuff kiddo - I too believe it is possible -- just possible - for things to get better on this earth - even without a tooth fairy.

Lydia said...

Ha ha! Those are great stories. Loved it!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately you don't pick your parents, but maybe for you those life lessons helped make you who you are today.

Anonymous said...

This is hysterical.

Youbetcha' said...

Genius,

For me, it is the things my mom never told me that is biting me on the ass.

Maggs said...

awesome

Cato II said...

I'm glad to see you writing about something light. I know we live in a dark place, but constantly dwelling on it can darken your soul. I liked the painting you posted the other day. A few remembrances like this are both good for your readers and good for you, too. Take a breather like this now and again. Catch your breath in your corner and come out swinging again.

Anonymous said...

Genius, darling

Oh you were sweet innocence, & beloved I'm sure Parents can laugh & joke a bit at their kids, but that's their fun. Now we can laugh at them how they brought us up.

Riley

Geniusofdespair said...

Thank you all. Cato II you are serious, I am not accustomed to a serious Cato II. Riley - thanks for the support as always.

Anonymous said...

That was an awesome read.
Keep it up Genius
You inspire so many with your words.

John A.